We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
