Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
