Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
