How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
