i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
