We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
