well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
