Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hell yes lets make some ravioli
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
