can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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