probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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