She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
