I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
