Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
