Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
