i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
