Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
