you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
