Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
