Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want her autograph on my taint
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
