Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
