We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
not ubering you a puppy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
