i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
