she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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