I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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