After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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