i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
