I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
