69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize