she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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