Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
