those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
