he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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