i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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