Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
