do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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