Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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