So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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