I love black thongs
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
