So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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