I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
