Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
