my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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