Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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