We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
