man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
