Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
