Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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