you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
did you just send me my own nude
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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