Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
