People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
