I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
