This girl is more easily done than said...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
